Your child is not supposed to die before you. Your child is not supposed to die before you. Your child is not supposed to die before you. Your child is not supposed to die

Psychology has proven it.
It is not really up for debate except for shallow people with kids.
The loss of a pet can devastate a human in the exact same way.
I believe even more so if your child happens to become a flawed adult and bankrupts you, date rapes some girl in school and hangs themselves in a motel bathroom. You know humans.

But your dog. My dog. See the point is.
The dog never wishes you ill. The dog never hates you. Your dog only wants you to love it and to enjoy your company.

Perhaps I'd like to say my wife saved my life. And she did literally.
Sonja saved me.

And I thought she was going to die. And she didn't.
She's almost back to normal. Which is a medical miracle according to the various doctors. Which is a great boon for the doctor and his family that accidentally did this to her.

She's going to die. And there's nothing I can do about it.
How do you prepare for the unthinkable? The answer is you can't.
The fact of the matter is. When Sonja dies, I might not live very long after that. That is the way of things. Perhaps not. For some odd reason humans have been given a huge evolutionary capacity to handle grief and loss.
So preparation is that the only mammal on this planet that matters is her. She doesn't know she's going to die you see. She won't bargain, hurt, beg, get angry. I'll do that for her. If I could butcher and torture every single one of your loved ones for one more good day with her I would do it. And I wouldn't even blink.

She'll not want to eat one day. And it will be time. As long as she has more good days than bad, I think she will have had a good life.
How many of us can say that about ourselves?

I'm moving to the Bay Area in the summer. I think she will love the beaches there.

We didn't die, instead we ALMOST died.

Funny how almost is irrelevant when it never happens to you.
You either died or you didn't.
I guess I almost died. So I didn't die.
The picture you see here is from me on Wednesday the 4th. In the emergency room. Nasogastric tube is pumping out shit as you can see near my face. Gross. They are doing a fluid bolus into me and my temperature is still rising. I told them to take my temperature, I knew I was having a fever, and I was right. Yup not good. Everyone was really scared, somehow I told my dad to take a picture. I might have been the least scared. Everyone was kinda looking at me like I was already dead or dying.
The previous evening I woke up from the most severe pain I have ever felt and as a result could not move. I had been discharged on tuesday the 3rd. Tired. And sick of hospitals.
The medics came.
"whats the problem"
"I can't move because it hurts too much"
In ambulance "did you take the tylenol prescribed to you"
"not yet"
"why not? It will help you with your pain"
If I could have sat up and choked the life out of brice(the dipshit medic) right then and there I would have.
But I couldn't.
They took some x-rays. Gave me a ton of pain medications and fluids. Sent me on a ambulance ride back up to seattle. Long ride.
Somehow I managed to ask the medic taking me to seattle(much more kind and competent) if he had seen Bringing out the Dead.
"I own it" he says.
"great movie" I say.
So I get back to Swedish. The surgeon looks visibly shaken. Nancy is not in a good way. As she knows everything they are saying. Note to everyone, medical ignorance is a GOOD THING when you or someone you know is really sick. That way they can tell you "little" lies and make you feel better. Emergency surgery later that day. About 3-4 hour long surgery i think.
I wake up. Feeling surprisingly in less pain. And a 6 inch incision in my stomach with staples.
So as it turned out, I had a portion of small intestine so full of fluid it strangulated itself. Creating severe blockage and pain. The surgeon said as big as a python. But it is gone now. And on Friday the 6th I had a bowel movement and they sent me on my way. I'm off pain medication and shall return to work on Tuesday. No heavy lifting, but other than that normal. I lost around 12lbs in the hospital. Surgeon discharged me from his care yesterday.

Now I know what pain level I should feel post surgery.
Good to know for next time.

Feeling better. I tire easily.

A 10-2 Iowa season? We should be happier than shit. Instead the fanbase is complaining about not winning a national championship. Because when the fuck did that EVER happen at Iowa. 1958? Seriously. None of you were born. Shut the fuck up. Iowa is not as good as any team in the top 10.
That is why Iowa is such a great team.
Duh. But not national title material. Never was. Probably never will be.
And that is okay.
It is Iowa.

We didn't die.

We are alive and well.
I just pissed without a catheter yesterday.
So once I shit I'll be out of here.

I will see you soon.We

In case I die tomorrow...

Which I won't.
But If I do.
You guys are awesome.
I was SO right about Obama.
Episode 3 is the GREATEST MOVIE EVER. And I still stand by that.

And you have to buy the following things for Nancy for Christmas from me:
Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box for DS
the 80s barbie and the rockers doll.
and a obstacle/agility course for her dog.

Surgery is tomorrow. All details will be posted post haste.

out

me

Who doesn't love to talk about themselves and their billions of dollars?

So if only I could express my sentiments when I received the following txt/pic message from nancy.

"Its off. Wanna watch the movie later?"

The movie being ginger snaps 2. Which sucks. But has some moments, but Ginger Snaps is great.
The off being a dead dog's leg that has been thawing for 2+ days.
She looks very happy doesn't she?

I have yet to see clone wars. And the critics are stupid, this is a moneymaking operation for a tv show. I will pay for it. Because I want to see it. I missed the midnight show to watch ginger snaps 2. I'll be going tomorrow. A lot. Make of that what you will.